Passamaquoddy

We in Passamaquoddy are always disgusted and judgmental of the members of the sleazy press who dig through garbage just for a news story.  Especially with the eyes of the nation on us, we cannot afford to be seen as a negative force in the world.  We will stand by our morals through thick and thin. So, even with the excitement of television crews in town to shoot a ‘reality’ show, we will not stoop to the level of the paparazzi.

With all that said, look what we found in the garbage can outside the Temporary Hotel… (where the contestants for the television show where staying at the time).

Who will be the last one standing?  The world is waiting.  And wait they must as this television show takes its time getting the episodes right.  In fact, the entire behind the scenes crew of Survivor: Passamaquoddy works so well together, it is almost as if they were just one person… and a lazy one at that…

But that’s not why we watch.  Its for the thrill of competition.  The angst of public humiliation… Embarrassing stories from JellyFishRolls where karaoke and BlueSharkTinis often result in years of starboard glances…  So without further ado, lets meet our teams…

We’ll spend some more time meeting each individual next week, but for now we’re glad to introduce our eleven finalists:

Team Piranha wearing blue tees…(sponsored by GRUMPY’S GYM) consists of these 5 adventurers…

Lorien
Doc
April
Whaleson
and Hypermommy

Team Sashimi wearing red tees***… (sponsored by ALL ABOUT THE MOUSE) consists of these 5 landlubbers…

Lisa.. our Sambycat
Fred Appleton
kevinz
Jeff Heimbuch
and unfortunately for Team Sashimi, George Taylor (who wandered in looking for funnel crabcake).

*** Although Team Sashimi is wearing red tees, Sambycat has already altered her outfit with all sorts of sparkly things, lures, and funny slogans.

And so it begins…

First up for our two teams…  They will spend one week inside one of Passamaquoddy’s attractions.  Here is the catch, they will have ZERO contact with the outside world other than Facebook, internet, email, cellphone, slambooks, face to face meetings and smoke signals.  No other communications will be tolerated!  Hopefully we will hear directly from our competitors during next weeks show.

In the meantime, will they pick WORLD OF OCEAN?  CRUSTACEAN COMMAND? SOARIN’ OVER PASSAMAQUODDY or even the dreaded CHUMSHOP EARTH?  Or will the adventure even further?

The winner of this challenge gets an extra surprise…a sixth teammate.. One Lou Mongello who wandered into town looking for a double cheeseburger.

Teammates, please contact Doc Terminus here to get your team information together…

We realize that news from WALT DISNEY WORLD has absolutely no business on our website in the town of Passamaquoddy.  But we wil make an exception this time as this story involves someone who ran in one of our own marathons in town.

Bryan Ripper finished the Walt Disney World half Marathon in under one hour and forty-five minutes.  It is a great time for such a long arduous run.  Then we received the following photograph…

If you’ve been around long enough, you are probably familiar with “STAN BACK 100 FEET”.  Stan Back is a unique attraction in Passamaquoddy as he is only a dumpster.  But Stan is no ordinary dumpster as it magically rolls around downtown making witty conversation with unsuspecting passersby.

You never know what will come out of this rolling contraption.  Recently I heard this exchange:

STAN: Dude!  One of us smells really bad.
Passerby:  It’s not me.  I am podcasting.
STAN: I’ve heard your show. So I know smelly.
Passerby: That is not very nice.
STAN: Try to be nice after someone throws 43 Salmon carcasses from September into your hatch!

What a hoot!  Watch for Stan Back next time you are downtown.

UPDATE:  A keen eyed Passamaquoddian provided us to a link of a similar walk around character down in Walt Disney World…  Check out the video below.

It seems like it was just yesterday that we heard the first “Diagnosing Whale Diseases” radio show.  100 years later, the DWD Radio show is still going strong and entertaining all of us in Passamaquoddy.. all the time keeping us informed.

Some of our favorite segments include…

DSI (Dissecting Severe Irritations):   Here Lemon Jello goes into great detail about growths and rashes growing on whale blubber.  He discusses their removal and still somehow manages to bring the discussion over to food.  Previous guests include Jeffrey C. Salt, Gorge Taylor and Ryan Whaleson.

Humpback Machine (formerly the Whaleback Machine).  During these segments, Jello looks at different whale species and somehow manages to bring the conversation over to food.

Top Ten with Tim: Lemon and Tim spend time discussing some of their favorite Whale diseases.  Tim as many of you know, was the first to try rubbing creamed spinach on all whale diseases.  Somehow these disgusting conversations eventually become about food.

Lucky “Lemon Jello” is the second generation radio host.  He took over the DWD Radio back in 1952, the year of the great Orca Eczema Spread… he has shown no sign of stepping down.  Rumor has it he has a descendant who runs a radio show of his own.

Our Congratulations go out to everyone at the DWD Radio show on its 100th. Please stop over and see them by clicking here.. Tell them Doc Terminus sent you.

The Year of a Million Steamers was semi-successful.  The idea of eating steamed clams may be attractive to big city folk.  But here is Passamaquoddy, raw clams are in. So, instead of selling a million steamed clams, we sold only 366.

Out with the old, in with the new.

The Passamaquoddy Police Benevolent Society was selected to pick this years campaign and they have come up with a whopper.  Please join us in celebrating Passamaquoddy’s new campaign.

Posters will be available for local cork boards at the Passamaquoddy town hall, Grumpy’s Gym and from Ricky’s Starfish Traders.