BREAKING NEWS: Rescued!
A sigh of relief could be heard across Passamaquoddy today as official news reached KWDY regarding the safe rescue of all who set sail last week aboard the S.S. MINNIE. Early this morning Disney cruise line guest and first time parasailer Jonathan La Voice noticed something unusual while airborne over Castaway Cay.
“While in the air looking for giraffes I noticed the wreckage of a boat on a nearby island. It did not look like something Disney would have placed there. Once I was back on board I asked our boats pilot about it and he suggested that although, he had never noticed it before, it was most likely a prop. When we approached the dock I realized it was that missing ship from Passamquoddy I have been reading about during the past week or so. I immediately explained this to the Disney Cast Members who had come down to the dock to tie us off.”
Employees of Castaway Cay responded by quickly gathering additional emergency supplies and heading over to the small island. As the pontoon approached the beach, Willie “Steamboat” Mongello could be seen frantically waving his arms, he was quickly identified by his trademark red shirt and white cap.
Willie “Steamboat” Mongello Ginger Spice Rachel Ray
Everyone was found to be without injury and in perfect health. The castaways had been very industrious in such a brief time. They had made huts, furniture, and Doc Terminus even developed an adobe style oven for Miss Ray to cook in.
Mayor Backus and his wife Doc Terminus
Captain Jonas “Scopa” Grumby now prefers to go by the name “Skipper Scopa.” A term affectionately placed upon him by those who sailed with him in honor of their safe landfall. Lovey Backus had his to say“We own the Skipper our lives. Even if this climate is terribly harsh of my furs”
Willie Mongello had this to say regarding a rescue by Disney. “This is simply amazing, did any of you speak with “Wrong way” Feldman? After I accidentally dropped his radio in the lagoon we were concerned about him taking off and looking for help.” Did you know his real name is actually Hans Conried and he was the voice of Captain Hook in Peter Pan?” When asked if he would continue sailing, Skipper Scopa says that yes there will be an S.S.MINNIE II “I’ll even have my little buddy on the crew list”
Shorty after arriving on Castaway Cay a private plane arrived to take the survivors back to the mainland. All but two survivors returned to Passamaquoddy. Ginger Spice has remained in Florida to audition for a possible singing career with Disney Cruise line or perhaps the parks. Rachel Ray has returned to her home with an entire list of new recipe ideas including her perfected coconut cream pie. Upon his safe arrival back home tonight Mayor had this to say. “It’s great to be back in Passamaquoddy A place of serenity and security, where the unexpected never happens. Well, perhaps I should rephrase that last bit. Truthfully It’s good to be home. Now would someone please mix me a Manhattan.”
