Recently, the town council of Passamaquoddy received this complaint letter. I thought it was worth a gander. (For our youngster readers, a “gander” is a school of geese.) (For our more idiotic readers, a “school” of geese is a grouping of sorts and doesn’t always involve spelling class, recess and pudding cups.) (Speaking of school, the letter was received with bad grammar and spelling problems.)

Attention to the Passmakwoddy town council of Passmakwoddy (sic),

Our town is gone into bad ways if’n it stays going like it is. I gots two big complainings to do. First, I hate the amount of fish guts lining the street over by “O’ Cannedtuna!” It gets on my shoes and stanks up my foyer throw rug. Second complaining is all about change and theming in our little town of Passmakwoddy (sic). Over the passed couple decades we’ve seen some changes that don’t make no sense. In an area that is all about nautical stuff, we’ve seen “Fishing on Mars” which was replaced by “Whaling Encounter”. Both of those attractions fit in well with the environments of a fishing village. But then they close down the “Whaling Encounter” and open up that horrible teen hormonal stimulator. I call for an immediate closure and restoration to what used to have been!

Concerned citizen

Of course, what “Concerned citizen” is talking about is the new attraction in the spot where the “ExtraGASTROnomical Whaling Encounter” to sit. (And the” Fishing on Mars” attraction before that).

Fitch’s Great Escape has been highly controversial from the get go, so much so that Abercrombie backed out of the deal during initial talks. And whether or not the attraction has its place in our little hamlet is a matter for debate. Some say it doesn’t belong, others insist they are taking their own idealism as too valuable and serious.

Indeed, the town is considering the request to shut down the attraction. All they need is a quorum to get the paperwork through. The problem there is that there are eleven women and nine men on the committee and the women have been on a research trip to the attraction since it opened, continuously missing on the meetings.

We’ll keep you informed of any updates.