This news was recently broken. The town of Passamaquoddy has temporarily closed its “Turtle Talk with Cujo” attraction as all the turtles seem to have disappeared.

Turtle Talk takes place in a room overlooking a large aquarium tank. Audience members are given the rare opportunity of talking with a turtle, using special underwater microphones. About 6 months ago, someone suggested bringing in a canine to help mediate between the humans and turtles. When they heard of a dog that had motion picture experience, they knew Cujo was perfect for the role.

A spokesman for the attraction who goes only by the moniker “Fishy Rocket Boy” said that since the opening of the attraction, many of the turtles had suffered some unexplained damage or just flat out disappeared. One morning, one turtle appeared flat as a flounder. We quickly changed his name to Crush.”

Nobody at the attraction has any idea where the turtles have gone off to. If that isn’t enough of a mystery, they also can’t explain the sudden, massive weight gain on Cujo, nor can they explain the hollow, clanking noise in his stomach whenever he walks. One final question unanswered: What is a fishy rocket boy?

Fishy Boy continued: “We have tried a couple runs with just Cujo, but it seems without the turtles to bother, the big dog instead took a snap at a kid in a yellow and blue striped shell. Totally.”

We’ll keep an eye on the attraction and let you know if there are any breakthroughs.